His Only Regrets
by PierceTheVeils
Summary: As Phoenix is haunted by sins of the past, he turns to the only person he knows can help him: Mia Fey. Her response is less than heartening. Done for a prompt on the kink meme.


He couldn't believe how well things had gone for him. Not only had his badge been returned, but his firm was bigger than it'd ever been. Phoenix could only hope they got enough cases to pay for everyone.

His days with Maya were a distant memory, now. She was Master of Kurain at this point, reclaiming all the power the town elders had grown used to wielding in her mother's absence.

Speaking of a mother's absence...

Phoenix hadn't come across Thalassa Gramerye since the Jurist trial. He had to wonder... How was she? When would she reveal herself to Trucy and Apollo?

A pang of anxiety wormed into his heart. If Thalassa, Trucy's biological mother, were to return, she could easily take Trucy from him. It was a ridiculously simple process to overturn one's "legally dead" status, and technically, Trucy's mother never lost rights to full custody...

It was a headache to think about, even without taking into account Trucy's inevitable reaction when she found out her father knew all along. Known, but never said anything.

Oh, and Apollo. He once told Phoenix he spent years trying to locate his birth mother. If he found out...

Thank god no one bothered to look at the case file. Apollo might have received a copy in the mail, but Phoenix was always first in the office. That was one case he planned to keep under a very tight lock.

A lock so tight, it cast five invisible shadows over his heart.

* * *

"Tonight's show was a hit, right Daddy?" Trucy ran up to her father, clad in blue pajamas. "Athena was great!"

"She sure was," Phoenix agreed. Athena had loved it up there. Clad in a yellow magician's suit, hair unbound, a heart shaped pin on the cape... He couldn't help but wonder if it was intentional, that Trucy gave her that costume.

It was the same with Apollo, whenever he agreed to help Trucy. With his pink-red suit and the clubs pin, he looked exactly like Trucy's father. Where had Trucy gotten those pins?

"Goodnight, Daddy!" Trucy hugged him, smiling, oblivious to the thoughts running through his head.

"Night, Truce," he hugged her back.

"Oh, Daddy? I forgot to ask. Can I go shopping with Vera tomorrow?"

"What?!" Phoenix pulled back.

"You know... Vera Misham," Trucy explained. "She's been coming to my shows at the Wonder Bar. The crowds used to scare her at first, but I think she's okay with it now. And her advertising posters have been a huge help! She landed her first job a month ago, and I told her we should celebrate!"

"I... Didn't know you two were friends."

"Why? Is something wrong?" Trucy was getting nervous. "She's not a forger anymore."

"It's fine, Trucy. You can go," Phoenix smiled, trying to keep his thoughts away from the young artist.

His daughter was staring at him, doubt in her every feature. "I saw your tell, Daddy. What's wrong with Vera Misham?"

Not Vera herself... Though it could have just as easily been her, now that he thought about it.

No! He'd promised himself that he would never think about it again. The past was the past.

"I said you can go, Trucy. Here," Phoenix grabbed his wallet, handing Trucy a few bills. "Use this tomorrow."

"$160?! Thanks, Daddy!" Trucy smiled, though her eyes didn't waver. She was still staring at... His forehead?

"Good night, Trucy."

Phoenix watched as she ran off to her room. Once she had closed the door, he grabbed the Magatama and walked up to the mirror.

"Drew Misham's death was not my fault."

Bong! Shhhhng! Bang bang bang bang bang!

Five red locks appeared in the mirror. He wondered: if he gave them enough time, would they turn to black?

* * *

He had a hard time going to sleep that night. Once he fell asleep, he almost wished he hadn't.

He stood before a pipe organ, in a church veiled in shadow. Without warning, a song began to play. Toccata and Fuge in D Minor.

Could his nightmares be any less original?

He sat there in complete silence, looking down to see he was back in casual clothing. That's odd. He almost never wore them anymore.

He ripped the beanie off his head. But it didn't say "Papa" like it used to.

Phoenix could barely move his face. It felt covered, like it had an outer layer over it. He peeled at his chin.

It was a mask. A mask of his own face, set in a determined expression.

The song finished. Though he had no intention of doing so, Phoenix rose to clap for the organ player, who stepped into a spotlight to bow.

Damon Gant. Wow. He hadn't seen that face in years.

"Wrighto! How glad I am to see you again!" The ex-Chief smiled, eyes boring a hole into the defense attorney. "I've been expecting you for a long time now."

"What are you talking about?" Phoenix demanded, a hard cast to his face. "Why am I here?"

"Oh, calm down, my boy! I only called to congratulate you. It seems one of you finally heeded my warning."

"You... Your what?"

"You don't remember?" Gant sighed. "Oh Wrighto, what a shame. Then again, I suppose you thought I was only talking to Worthy. You don't remember what I said to you, they day you imprisoned me?"

Phoenix did remember. "I don't have any idea what you're-"

"I for one, can recite my warning perfectly: 'You despise criminals. I can feel it. You and me... we're the same. One day you'll understand. If you want to take them on alone... you'll figure out what's needed!'"

Gant laughed, slow claps echoing in the dark sanctuary. "And you got it! You finally understood what I was talking about! Shame the realization cost you your badge."

"What? we're nothing alike!" Phoenix insisted. But it was no use.

"Oh really? Tell me: have you ever harmed your fellow man for the greater good? Have you ever held forged evidence over the head of someone who trusts you, banked on their guilt to ensure they carry out your plan? Have you ever killed your fellow man to bring a greater threat to justice?"

"I didn't... Kristoph set the poison trap!" Phoenix struggled helplessly against Gant's assessment of him.

"He only set the trap, Wrighto. It would never have sprung without your help."

Before he know it, Phoenix was standing in Drew Studio, waiting for Drew Misham to turn his back. Once he left the room, Phoenix opened the drawer, and checked the number of remaining stamps. He took all two.

Drew Misham was a creature of habit. He wouldn't buy more stamps until the end of the week.

Moments later, the faux forger was back.

"Vera still won't come and talk to you. She says her angel forbids it."

"Her angel? Who is that?" Phoenix feigned ignorance, eying the man with concealed dislike. Every time he looked at Drew Misham, he was back in the courthouse, staring the teenage prosecutor in the face, listening to the judge express such crushing disbelief.

Every time he saw that man, he was exposed before the Bar Association, listening to them demonize him further. He felt Mr Grossberg's wet breath on his face, apologizing profusely as he removed his badge.

"...How am I ever going to get her to go outside? She's nineteen now, a legal adult! I can't support her forever."

No, she can't support you forever, Mr. Misham. Phoenix wanted to bite so badly. But he couldn't. "She still as 'charmed' as ever?"

Drew Misham nodded. "I've begun to believe it's a real spell he cast on her. Seven years, and she clings to his every word."

Yep. Gavin had that effect on people. Which is why he had to be brought down, by Phoenix alone. Phoenix was the only one who'd seen through his lies. He was the the only one who could do this.

"Break the spell," Phoenix commanded. "Convince your client to let her go."

"But I-"

"Look, I found out who he was. I can't prove it in court yet, but I'm almost there." Phoenix pulled out a note, writing down a name and address. "Help your daughter, and write him a letter. You have no time to waste."

* * *

Phoenix shot up in bed, panting. His hands flew to his face, searching for a mask.

It wasn't there.

Phoenix took the day off, leaving a few minutes after Athena and Apollo went to the detention center. Between the two of them, they could handle the agency's traffic.

He took the fastest train to Kurain there was, clutching the Magatama to his chest. He made sure every wrinkle in his suit was gone. Every now and then, he would reach up to touch his face, making sure it was still bare.

The two hours stretched into eternity until finally the train stopped. Right outside the stop was an ornamental gate, left open for visitors.

"Now arriving: Kurain Village. Doors will open to the left."

Phoenix all but ran off the train, looking back as it ran off into the distance.

He checked his phone. No reception. Hopefully if something happened to Trucy, she'd know to call Apollo next. Then Athena, and then Edgeworth.

"Niiiiiiiiiick!"

Someone was in his arms, almost knocking him down with ferocity. She had long black hair, pinned up in a traditional Japanese style. Her robes were neat and elegant, but had little deviance from that of a regular acolyte's. Besides, the bottom six inches was stained in mud.

"Maya! I was hoping I'd run into you," Phoenix smiled for the first time that day. "How's Pearls?"

"She's fine! Training some of our new acolytes right now," Maya let him go, eyes beaming. "Why are you here? You didn't tell me you were visiting. Is Trucy with you?"

"No, I came alone... I need some advice."

"Um... Advice on a case? You know we can't do that anymore, Nick. They banned it after DL-6."

"No! Not that kind of advice. Personal advice. I want to talk to Chief."

Phoenix had been avoiding his guilt for months. He felt like he would explode if he didn't confess.

But he had to be careful. If he told the wrong person, he could be in trouble. Everything he'd worked so hard for would he ruined. Trucy would be an orphan again.

"...you'd want to talk to Sis. You haven't visited her inyears, Nick!" Maya pouted. "And since when is my advice not good enough? I had to make Edgeworth talk you into becoming a lawyer again!"

Oh Maya. Responsible master of the village, but had yet to change one bit.

"I'm sorry Maya. But Chief is the only one who can help me out here. Please?"

She sighed, motioning for Phoenix to follow her. "Come on, Channeling Chamber's this way. But I have other customers today. You're gonna have to wait in line."

The line treatment. She really was upset with him.

Luckily, the line wasn't long. Adrianna Kyubi was first, coughing and crying and screaming about her late husband. Then came a girl who looked like Maya, mumbling about thieves and getting permission.

Both the women took about an hour in the Channeling Chamber. Mrs. Kyubi walked out crying harder than before, and the Maya-lookalike was smiling with tears in her eyes.

Maya walked out after her. "Alright Nick! You ready?"

Phoenix nodded, following Maya into the Chamber.

It looked the same as it always had. The same as it had been ten years ago, even if the folding screen had likely been replaced.

Maya was seated in a meditation position, a mystic air to her voice.

"You wish me to channel the late Mia Fey, who died at the hands of Redd White inside her own office?"

Phoenix nodded. "Yes."

"Very well. Let the Channeling session begin. You will have one hour, and then the spirit will rest once more."

He sat in silence as the process started. Maya didn't need to include half the steps she did. She seemed to forget he'd seen her channel spirits before.

"Phoenix Wright... It's been a long time."

Phoenix looked into Mia's warm smile, the relaxed set on her borrowed body. "Chief. I missed you."

"Not enough, I suppose. Don't feel bad, Maya's kept in touch with me over the years. I may not watch over you anymore, but I know what's been happening."

"I... What did Maya tell you?"

"A wild tale, of selfishness, fraud, and murder. But the story ends happily. You're a lawyer again, you never lost my office, and you're the mentor of two young kids." Mia beamed. "How does it feel?"

"Great. Athena and Apollo will be great defense attorneys one day. Heck, they already are."

"And how's your daughter? Trucy, isn't it?"

"She's fine. Out with friends."

"I met her real father, you know," Mia's smile was gone. "He sits near the edge of your world, all day and all night. He's watching her. He wants to see her again."

Phoenix knew where this was going. "You want me to bring Trucy here, don't you?"

"Yes," she sighed. "I know how it feels to regret, Phoenix. He'll never rest until he lets his mistakes go. Do you have any idea how many spirits sit at the edge of this world, pounding on the walls and begging for another chance? Of all the people in the world to die, very few die peacefully.

"Tell me, Phoenix: if you were to die today, and had only one thing left to do, what would it be?"

"I'd tell you I killed someone!" Phoenix exclaimed. "That's...it's why I'm here. I need advice."

Silence. Phoenix looked up at his mentor, tried to catch her eye. She was frozen. No, trembling.

"...how?"

"It wasn't my fault. Not really. Someone else set the trap for a man to be poisoned. But their trap failed. Gavin committed so many other crimes, crimes I doubt will eversee the light of day. The only way to prove he did anything-"

"Was to pin him for another crime," Mia finished. "Just like SL-9."

"No! Not like SL-9! I would never kill an innocent! That guy was a forger. He made evidence that got innocent people convicted... he's as much a murderer as I am!"

"That's not why you did it," Mia bit back. "You didn't kill Drew Misham for being a forger. You knew he wasn't the forger."

"He forced his daughter to- wait, how do you know this?"

"I met Drew Misham, too. He and Mr. Enigmar are sitting next to each other right now, watching their daughters be happy together. They have a lot in common, which led to a quick bond.

Mr. Misham has a lot of things that prevent him from resting. One of those things is a mystery." Mia stepped closer to him. "He still doesn't quite understand how he was killed. Care to explain?"

"I took all the stamps but the poisoned one and convinced him to write a letter to Gavin. If the police found the murder weapon on Gavin, they'd figure out the connection in no time." Phoenix explained, then began to sweat. "Chief, please! I had to do it. It was the only way to-"

"The only way to what?" Mia snapped, tears in her eyes. "The only way to do what? Why on earth would you kill someone?"

"I thought you'd be able to help me. No matter where I go, I think of what I did. Every time I look at my badge, I see a drop of blood. Every time I hear the word Gavin, I think of him rotting away in jail, shedding murder accusations like water. Every time I see Vera, or hear her name, I think of Trucy, crying and screaming the night I told her that someone killed her Daddy.

"MIa... I killed someone's Daddy. I killed their only parent, their only friend in the world. And I did it for my own sake. I wanted my badge back, and stopped at nothing to prove my innocence. I fought so hard for my reputation, I lost it.

"Mia... Help me. What do I do? What do I do to get rid of this guilt?"

He heard the sound of snapping Psychelocks. He hoped they were his.

Mia was standing in the corner of the room, eyes vacant and expression distorted.

"Chief? What do I do?"

"I don't know, Phoenix. Your feelings... They won't go away. I've talked to enough killers to know it's true. You can atone for the rest of your life, but you will never stop looking over your shoulder. Watching the people you hurt, waiting for them to point the finger at you."

"Chief. You won't-"

"Don't worry, Phoenix. Your secret is safe with me. Who could I tell? I'm scared of you, Phoenix."

"What?!"

"I'll never understand. What has this Gavin done to you? What about him convinced you to give up your integrity? And for what? What do you gain from this?"

"Mia..."

"You aren't the boy I defended, that one day in court. You aren't the man I hired to succeed me. You aren't the attorney I assisted in court, using my sister's and cousin's bodies. You aren't the lawyer I watched over. No. You're a stranger to me.

"Goodbye, Phoenix."

* * *

 **A/N's: This was done for a prompt on the kink meme:**

 **Phoenix Wright instigated the murder of Drew Misham to ensure 4-4 happened as it did. Because seriously, he was waaaaaaay too prepared for it to happen.**

 **Essentially, anon wants to see to see Phoenix as he prepares and does the act, or afterwards (DD era?) as he tries to justify his actions, to someone else or to himself. If you choose someone else, anon prefers Mia, Maya, Iris, Godot, or even a villain, like Dahlia or Damon Gant (in a nightmare?** **)**

 **It was one of my better fills, so I decided to move it here. Hope I did the prompt Justice, and enjoy the angst while I try to finish the next ERB:AA by this weekend. Please review, and I'll see you on the far side!**


End file.
